you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
