I'm eating all of the evidence.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
