umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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