if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
worst night to have a conscience
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
