I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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