butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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