where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
