This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
