playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
