marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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