Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
