he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
