In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
