He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
