is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
