My liver just broke up with me...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
How naked do you want me to be?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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