just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
