just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I stole a fireplace last night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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