Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
this will be a night to untag.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
