dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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