Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
