I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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