I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
