It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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