If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
