Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
