dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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