no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
