After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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