"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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