pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
