You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
