yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
