wat bout pragnant strippers??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
