I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
