If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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