Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
