I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
