Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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