I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
