Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
