I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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