is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
