I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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