You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
