Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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