It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
