Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
