what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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