Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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