his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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