I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
