my vag is so smooth its legendary
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
